// ARQUETIPOS DE FOUNDER · ARCHETYPE SERIES
📈The Metrics Obfuscator
"We're growing 40% month-over-month."
// EL ARQUETIPO
40% month-over-month growth from 5 users to 7. Reports "engagement" instead of retention. "Active users" means anyone who opened the app once. Uses "GMV" for a marketplace that makes 0 commission. The fundraising pitch is a masterclass in technically-true-but-meaningless statistics.
// YOU MIGHT BE THIS FOUNDER IF...
"Revenue" slide shows downloads
Retention not mentioned anywhere
"We're doubling every month" (from 1 to 2)
NPS of 72 from 3 respondents
DAU/MAU conveniently omitted
// IN UNICORNBURN SEASON 0
In UnicornBurn, the simulation tracks real metrics: actual revenue, real churn, genuine burn rate. You can't obfuscate the tick engine.
Hall of Flame · 40% MoM Growth · From 5 to 7 Users
UnicornBurn Hall of Flame · Archetype Record
// YOUR ARCHETYPE IS ASSIGNED ON DAY 1
In UnicornBurn Season 0, your decisions determine your archetype. The simulation doesn't care what you call yourself. It only tracks what you do. 10,000 founders. One world. July 2026.
JOIN SEASON 0 →